october

Trying to recall Halloween memories, but I can't think of many.

I know that when I was a kid, I liked Halloween. I had a sweet tooth, so the whole candy thing appealed to me. I went for that. And I liked the idea of costumes. I didn't become a living marionette until junior high, but even as a young kid, I found costumes to be interesting. I liked what they implied.

But my parents are so religious that they weren't really down with the Halloween situation. Too satanic. Or pagan. Or something. I don't remember. I just remember that they were uncomfortable about it, so they kind of downplayed the holiday.

I could wear a mask, they were okay with that. They'd buy a flimsy, two-dollar piece of shit mask from the grocery store and, on Halloween night, I could walk around the neighborhood with that on; collect candy. Mostly, though, they took me to church where they had a more neutral celebration. It was like Halloween, but without the fun. I remember you'd go to the church...no costume...and groups of kids would wander around the facility. And you'd go up to a classroom door, where an adult would be standing. And you would hold up your bag...and the adult would drop a few pieces of candy in, along with a religious tract. Usually a religious tract designed specifically for kids; a little cartoon, imparting simple lessons from the bible.

The whole thing, it bored the life out of me. I never liked the other kids at my church, so didn't enjoy having to be around them. They clumped and ran around the church together. I just kept to myself, ignored my parents when they said, "Go play with the other kids!" I'd usually just sit on a church pew, eat candy...read the religious cartoon books. Which were terrible.

That would be it, basically. Halloween would end.

I'd keep the mask, though. I didn't mind that they were flimsy and cheap. At random times throughout the year, I'd lock my bedroom door. Put the mask on. Stare at myself in the mirror.