Fall Semester, 1997 (part 3)

Class is finished for the week. We're at the grocery store. Jen-ling is staring at a watermelon.

J: No.

We move on to the apple section.

J: Yes.

She loads up on apples.

J: Freezer things next.

We go to the freezer section.

J: Frozen sweet-peas. Frozen sweet-peas. Frozen sweet-peas.

We march down the row, peering into doors.

M: You walk faster than most people run. Here they are. Frozen green dots.

J: They are not dots.

There are two little tables beside the bakery counter. We sit at one of those and eat donuts.

M: Why is it that you will sit with me here, but not in the student center?

J: This smells like baked bread. The student center...they make pizza all day. It smells like cheese. Cheese is horrible.

M: But that's where I am most of the time.

J: The smell is too much. Sit out front.

M: The sun is too bright. We are incompatible.

J: When I moved here, that was the biggest adjustment: the food. American food is unpalatable. It is either grease or cheese. It was shocking to me. Cheese is on everything. Do you like cheese?

M: On everything.

J: Horrible.

She stares at the bakery counter.

J: I did not buy enough donuts. Foooood.

We get more. She bites a filled donut. A dollop of filling falls from the end of it, onto her napkin.

J: Shit.

M: You have to bite those on alternating sides.

J: Don't tell me how to eat my donut.

M: It's all about the filling hydraulics. Bite one side, the filling shifts. Bite the other side, it shifts back. It's a constant balancing act.

She ignores me. I close my eyes and listen to the dry, jazz-like elevator music that the store is playing. I hear shuffling feet as people walk past...mumbled conversation. Everything is quiet, hushed, sedate.

M: I forgot to ask: how was the test today?

J: Troubling.

M: How troubling?

J: Very troubling.

M: How very?

J: Extremely very.

M: Hee. You're one of Those People.

J: What "People"?

M: You stress out about every test; say "I did terrible". Then, when you get it back, it's an A.

J: Today was different. This time I really did bad.

M: That's the other phrase Those People say! "This time was different". Then it's an A. It's irritating to those of us not afflicted with perfectionism.

J: I was not able to sleep well last night. I think it impacted my test performance.

M: In your entire life, have you ever made less than perfect grades?

J: God no.

She considers the possibility. Shudders.

M: I wonder what would happen if you got a B on this test.

J: I would die instantly.

It's quiet. I work on the coffee. Jen-ling squints at a woman standing nearby.

J: What is that woman holding?

M: Umm...I think that's marinaded cheese. They sell this Italian type of cheese here. It's a lump of mozzarella that's been twisted into a braid. It's addictive.

J: Italians braid their cheese?

M: I don't know. It's better than what we do. Americans turn their cheese into flat yellow squares.

J: Ugh.

M: What do Malaysians do with cheese?

J: Eschew it.

We scoot crumbs from the table, throw napkins away, roam around the store.

J: The breakfast aisle...in three...two...one...

We turn into it, begin the march.

J: I will not eat oatmeal. I will not eat granola. I will not eat flakes with raisins. I will eat chocolate puffs.

A cereal box with a cartoon character on the front goes into the shopping cart.

M: Do you hear that? My shoes?

J: Yes.

M: They are squeaking. Ook-ook. It's some kind of Morse code. They're communicating with us.

J: Do not anthropomorphize your shoes.

M: Never. Unthinkable. Shoes should come with warning labels: "Anthropomorphize at your own risk. May cause weirdness."

She stares straight ahead.

M: You never laugh at my jokes.

J: I do not understand them.

We roam around. Later on she glances over her shopping list, says "Finished". At the front of the store: no one else is checking out, so several cashiers are available. They're just standing there, looking at us, waiting. Jen-ling moves forward, but then swivels around and heads the opposite way.

J: The cashiers are all staring. It is too strange right now. Lets wait for other customers to check out, distract them.

We hide in the freezer aisle. Every so often, Jen-ling peeks around the corner, says, "Not yet...not yet". We stand around, wait. We hear a bar-code scanner go "boop". She peeks.

J: Okay. Others are checking out. This is our best chance.

We head that way.

M: The important thing is to act natural when approaching a cashier. No sudden movements. And for god's sake, do not make direct eye contact.

J: Shush.

Cashier: Hello.

J: Hello. You are well?

Cashier: Yes, thank you.

We put everything onto the little conveyor belt and wait. I stare at the floor. Jen-ling stares at the floor. The frozen dots go "boop".